Women I Love

So, I was thinking about International Women’s Day and I decided to journal about it, since I have been journaling the past few nights. I was going to make a list of all the women who inspire me. Then, suddenly, I drew a blank.
I could think of all the men who inspire me, Jesus, Ghandi, Dr. Ben Carson… And, ironically, men who do not inspire me. But I could not think of a woman who does.

That baffles me. How could I, a strong woman myself, not have any strong women I look up to?

It really shows me how much inspirational women are missing from pop culture. All I hear about are celebrities (and criminal activity by those celebrities). I don’t hear about enough women who are good role models to young women like me-and younger young women, who need them more than I do.

So I set myself a challenge and did some digging. I decided to write a list of 10 women who inspire me. It took me over an hour, but I’ve now found them.

1) The Biblical Ladies– Ones who did great things for the Most High God and His Kingdom. I specifically wrote Esther, Ruth, Mary, and Mary Magdelene.

2) Malala Yousefzai. If you do not know who Malala is, you may be living under a rock. You might want to get out of it. Malala is a girl who, at 16 years old, got shot by the Taliban for promoting the idea that girls should go to school. As a woman who went to school, I know how important this is. Malala is a modest woman who stays true to her religion while condemning the acts of those who use her religion wrongly. I find myself doing the same thing. I think she’s younger than me, but I hope I can make an impact as big as Malala has.

3) Mayim Bialik. Mayim is an actress, but that’s not why she’s on this list. She’s on the list because she’s an actress, neuroscientist and Orthodox Jew. She gracefully applies the Jewish rules of Tzniut (modesty) to her life, while in the competitive world of acting. She also has some book smarts, considering she has a PhD in neuroscience. (Ps. “Some” is an understatement).

4) All the lady mental health YouTubers– On YouTube there are many courageous women who advocate for mental health. Young and old, we come together to help this world understand mental illness. Those of us who speak our stories inspire me most of all, as telling your story of a mental health challenge opens you up for a world of hurt. However, and I think my mental health YouTube friends will agree, it’s not usually as bad as we think it will be. And we get to help others in the process.

I specifically wrote down Kati Morton, LikeKristen, and LetsTalkTics. Go check them out!

5) Beckah Shea. Beckah Shea is a singer who I can describe best as a complete blessing. She overcame mental illness and now sings (and raps!) her heart out for Jesus. I got to meet Beckah and see her perform. Even while very pregnant, she was full of energy. She is walking in the Spirit, I have no doubt about that. Her personality left a handprint on my heart, I will not forget her anytime soon!

Definitely check her out if you like Christian music!

6) Katherine from my Messianic Synagogue. If you didn’t know, I’ve been going to a Messianic Jewish synagogue every Saturday (the Sabbath). Messianic means they believe that Jesus is the Messiah. There is no fellowship quite like it. It is an amazing feeling to worship the same way Jesus worshipped. Anyway, there is a woman at the synagogue who is very touched by my story and my headscarf. I haven’t told her, but I’m very touched by her story too. I admire her faith, her knowledge, and her love for Jesus and other people. She also has a PhD in pastoral counseling, so we bond over our shared interest in psychology. I hope to become more like her someday, because she has the fruits of the Spirit in her.

7) Shawna Houson. Shawna is a Youtuber I have watched for ages. She inspires me in my filmmaking, faith, mental health, and just over-all being a good person. She’s funny, but more than that, she’s real. She recently uploaded a video about how depression effects her life. If you watch Shawna (also known as Nanalew), definitely send her some love. (Yes, YouTubers do read comments!)

8) Female veterans, police officers, and firefighters etc. The females who save the lives of dainty girls like me every day. Doing what most of us do not have the courage to do. I know I don’t. If I was on a battlefield, I’d be gone before the first gunshot. So I pray the Most High blesses those women and keep them safe, because they are very special women and we need them.

I’d also like to mention, I’m inspired by women who do those jobs in head scarves. Proving to the world you can be in a head scarf and be strong and independent.

9) Women I met at the OCD clinic. When entering the OCD clinic, I don’t think I realized I would meet such beautiful people. The young kids & teens I met there are the strongest people I know. They fight a battle in their minds that you couldn’t even dream of without having OCD yourself. And in that program, they were winning. The young women I met there are the strongest women I know. They’ve been to Hell and back, but they’re still standing! I love those girls like crazy and think of them everyday! Which reminds me of a quote:

Sufferers of mental illness aren’t victims, they’re survivors.

If you’re suffering from mental illness, keep your head up, you’re a survivor. 🙂

10) Women relatives– Memere, Grandma, Aunt Kathy, and Aunt Celine.

And the biggest inspiration and woman I love the most in my life, my mom! Mom, you are an amazing and strong woman. You went through hardships in life, but it hasn’t knocked you down. You support me and love me through my worst and best times. You love me unconditionally. You teach me what Jesus’ love is like, although I could not fathom all of it. Even though you deal with your own challenges, you still take care of me every day. You put others before yourself and that is admirable. I love you!


Feel the Fear, But Do It Anyway 

You cannot have bravery without

Throughout my life, I’ve been afraid of many things. I thought my fear was something to hide from. An actual threat. Everyone taught me, hide under the covers. Do what you need to do to not feel anxious.

But that doesn’t solve anything, does it? 

Tonight I am inspired by the Biblical passage of 1 Samuel 17, the story of David and Goliath. When David was sent to bring food to his brothers fighting the Philistine army, he was thrust into a situation that had caused every Israelite soldier to cower in fear, literally run away from the battle. 

The nearly 10 foot tall Philistine Goliath was once again threatening the Israelites. He proposed that their armies do not fight, but if any Israelite was able to beat him alone, the Philistines would become Israel’s servants. However, if they lost, the Israelites would become the Philistine’s servants.

David, visiting his brothers in the battle line, asked what was going on. The soldiers told him the story and the great prize from King Saul; Saul’s daughter and exemption from taxes and service in Israel (That’s like no jury duty, woohoo! They should implement this in America, just saying).

David starts out bravely insulting the Philistine. Instead of rallying with him, David’s brother gets angry. He calls David conceited, his heart wicked. If that is true, David’s conceit was was obviously an advantage on that day.

When Saul heard of David’s remarks, Saul summoned David. David, the young boy, the shepherd from Bethlehem, boldly offered himself up fight Goliath. 

Without armor, without experience, David approached Goliath. Goliath mocked him, “Am I a dog? Is that why you’re coming at me with sticks?” But David’s stick was not a stick. It was actually (drumroll please) a shepard’s slingshot. While the slingshot didn’t even compare to Goliath’s spear, sword and javelin, David had another weapon. David announced:

 I’m coming to you in the name of ADONAI-Tzva’ot, the God I the armies of Israel, whom you have challenged. Today Adonai will hand you over to me. I will attack you, lop your head off, and give the carcasses of the army of the P’lishtim (Philistines) to the birds in the air and the animals in the land. Then all the land will know that there is a God in Israel.

Do you think David was fearful when he approached Goliath? The Bible does not say, but David’s bravery was greater than what fear he might have had.

This story teaches us to do what we desire, even when we’re fearful. In life, we will have amazing opportunities that will intimidate us. How we make that decision should never be based on the fear we feel, but our desire to take that opportunity. This is bravery! By pushing past fear, you’re already braver than those hundreds of Israelite soldiers. 

If you want to do something, feel the fear, but do it anyway! Feel the fear, but do it anyway. If we ever want to get where we want to be in life, we need to push past fear. 

In Exposure and Response Prevention therapy, we gain the tools to fight the giant that is OCD. Our slingshot, if you will. 

Sometimes OCD feels like a giant Goliath. Sometimes we want to run and hide (or compulse and avoid). However, that will never solve the problem. That will never win the war. No obsession you face can ever be solved by a compulsion. On the contrary, every obsession you face can be solved by acceptance. To fight OCD is to surrender to it. 

Sometimes this seems impossible. However, if you believe in such things, Matthew 19:26 in the Bible says that with God, all things are possible. A phrase I brought up a lot in the OCD clinic.

So with your slingshot and possibly with Adonai-Tzva’ot (Lord of Hosts), you can fight any Goliath in your life.